Dem be da rules

So as I'm writing this post I'm currently on a coach home from Uni.

I bought a packet of crisps from the attractive coach vender, but opened them upside down. Not so the crisps fell out or anything, but so the logo was upside down, and now I feel odd eating them. When I was little if this ever happened I use to cry and refuse to eat from the packet, through fear of them not tasting right.
Now I feel the same. I'm unsure If it's because I'm hungover, but my heart sunk when it happened this time, sad isn't it?

 Anyway, I figured you already know so many weird facts about me, I might as well share my food rules with you. Don't want you making any faux pas if we ever eat together now do we?

I despise wet food. By this I mean stuff Swimming in sauces or covered in gravy. No. It's not right. I like to chew my food, not have to sieve out the lumps and drink it. Blergh.

 If we were going to eat a Roast dinner for example, none of the food should be touching on the plate. None of that, let's mix it together crap or, pile it on another. No thanks, I like to see what I'm eating and not taint it with another food group. The French have got the right idea, in a way. They eat their meals in a logical order, vegetables, carbs then meats. I like that, orders are good.

 And finally, as if you didn't think it could get any worse, I HATE eating alone. Not snacks or anything, but like meals. Well it's just bad manners to up and leave the table when someone hasn't finished anyway, but I'm a slow eater. I've been known to have my meals re-heated mid sitting, so I understand it can get a bit tedious to sit with me, but you didn't enter into it blindly! I warned you I'm slow. I'm unsure of the reason I hate to eat alone, I think it might be the fact I've never had to due to family dinners, that the concept is so daunting.

 So yeah. There we go. A few reasons you should think twice before sitting down to a meal with me.